why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q- How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A- You Poke Her Face

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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What did the arsonist shout out in the movie theater? Nothing. He set the exits ablaze and said absolutely nothing.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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twenty three roaches walk into a bar. the bar is evacuated due to insects.

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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