Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Why did Lil' Susie leave her blue rain boots at home? Because she had stumps for legs. To attempt to wear them would only hurt her emotionally.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket.

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PICKLES

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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