knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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black people

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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Knock knock Who's there? A fireman. You're house burned down.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops