What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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guess what>? your mum lol

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Why did the cops beat up rodney king? Resisting arrest.

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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A Jew walks into a bar...He uses his coupon to get a free drink, then leaves.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Btw I have aids And now you too

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops