Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't stab you 17 times in the kidney?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

hi michael

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...