What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

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An albino and a jew walk in to a bar. They both order the same drink and chat for a few minutes before the albino must get home to his wife. The jew leaves shortly after, tipping the bar tender a generous amount for his superb service.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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