What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Women's rights

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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The Oakland Raiders

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops