Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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Why do gingers get mad when people call them gingers? Because it hurts their feelings

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why do black people like watermelons so much? They don't. It's just a stereotype.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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Michael Jackson will always be remembered for touching...the hearts of many.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops