How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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What do you say to a fat guy working out congrat him and tell him he's doing a great job and keep up the work

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Who can walk on water? Not the guy in the wheelchair.

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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What did the little kid say to the stranger? Nothing. He was taught not to talk to strangers.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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What do you call the Doctor who graduated at the bottom of his class? Doctor.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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