Why did the man fall off his bike? Because he wasn't on a bike.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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I was eating a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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what's more interesting than capital gains tax? (there's no answer)

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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Black people in Camden NJ.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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What did hitler said to the chinese? Thank you for continuing my legacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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