Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes, how may I help you?

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Q.Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I don't were my cleats on my trampoline.

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Q: What's worse than a black guy with a gun? A: the holocaust

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are baskets This joke makes no sence... ... boobs

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(PC) Why aren't regular jokes as good as anti-jokes? Because they are worse than anti-jokes.

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What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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