A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Gustavo Andrade

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Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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