What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mom was so fat that she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a deer that has no eyes? I have no eyedeer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two lions are walking down the street. One lion says to the other, "where is everybody?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops