whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Who won the race through the underpass, the black man or the polish man? The black man as he crossed the finish line several seconds earlier.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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A man walks into a bar, He is a severe alcoholic and is slowly drowning himself in booze. The man exits the bar after several hours of heavy drinking and walks home. He enters his home to discover a man in bed with his wife. After the first ten seconds of paralyzing rage, he grabs a .44 Magnum and brutally murders his wife and her bed mate. The man realizes he has woken up his two month old, and after thinking of the horrible act he has committed, he promptly raises the pistol to his temple and pulls the trigger. Oh, I almost forgot, the man was schizophrenic and has never been married.

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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