What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A little boy came runing to his mum' mummy...can a little girl have ababy? Mom reply no...so, the boy ran out and told his frnd 'we can play naked again'.,

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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what do you find at the top of mountains? things

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bish bash bosh giz a nosh

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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This sentence is a lie.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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