How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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Penis

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Charlie Sheen Walks Into a Rehab Center.....

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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how did the kenyan get away from the cup He didnt he got arrested

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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