Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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25

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm gonna screw you and you don't have a clue !

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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Q: Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a trash can? A: Finding 1 baby in 10 trash cans!

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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What do you call an awesome school? St Heinrich's Law School (Teaching you to break the laws!)

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What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

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I like poop in my butt

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Who has two thumbs and gets to go home tomorrow? Well, not your son. He's in a persistent vegetative state and we had to amputate both of his arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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