How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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This blind man read my mind the other day. I swear, it's like he has a 5th sense!

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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Blonde: Hey, what does "Idk" mean? Blonde's friend: "I don't know" Blonde: Thank you for telling me, that has been bothering me for quite some time now.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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You are basically asking if I care for you, care for me, and if this could put us both in risk... There is no picking at this stage, why would I use you?

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how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

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Life is like a bucket of wood shavings. Except when they're in a pail. Then it's like a pail of wood shavings.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops