what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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homosexuals are gay

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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