What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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Kyle grund parker coffey

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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What did the girl say to the boy? Hi.

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A man and a Rabbit are in a bar , the Rabbit looks at the man and says, none of this is real.

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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What did the two Japanese men say to each other? I have no idea I don't speak Japanese

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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