Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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What's sad about Justin bieber getting thrown off of a cliff Nothing

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Sex

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So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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How does a printer work? You plug it in.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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