What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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The original anti joke. What is jeopardy?

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What did the previously pregnant teen flush down the toilet? Her beloved pet goldfish who recently died. She had already given birth to a healthy baby the previous year.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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What happened to the fat japanese guy? His house was destroyed by the earthquake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops