Click here to end the world.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

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-I thought the lesson had started? -It has

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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A man walks into a bar and says Ouch.

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What's the warmest organ in a dead baby's body? My penis

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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