Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

Why did the couple stop at the stop sign? Because it's the law.

Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

There once was this guy and he fell down

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

What do you call a black flying an airplane? A pilot you racist bastard.

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

your face

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

why did the girl slap joe? he had a boner.

A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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