When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

Yo mama is so fat, she's bigger than a whale. I have two fathers.

What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

What's the difference between oreos and your opinion? I asked for your opinion.

why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

Women. One of the genders a human can be.

THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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