- Anti Joke

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

hey i just met you,but this is crazy, my name is kony and i just took your baby

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

Once there was a baby ostrich name Bert. He was the cutest ostrich with those big black beady eyes, fuzzy feathers and funny wobbly baby ostrich walk. I knelt down and as Bert came running towards me as if I were his ostrich father about to protect him from something dangerous. As he got within arm’s reach I punched him so hard he turned into a baby kitten. I decided that Bert was an ...insufficient name for a baby kitten so I said to the purring ball of fuzz “I shall call you Turtle” a kitten named Turtle was a very hilarious conundrum. Things went well for an hour or two and then Turtle decided to pee on my tile floors which infuriated me because everyone knows that cat pee doesn’t come out of carpet! I decided to teach Turtle a football drill called kick the cuddly baby kitten so hard he turns into a koala bear. I sat Turtle on a football tee and suddenly our eyes met and he stared at me with the cutest face a kitten has ever made I took three steps back and turned back towards him. I stared into his big baby kitten eyes and then at a running sprint kicked him as hard as I could into the wall. There was a quiet sound like that of a space shuttle taking off into outer space. As I looked to see where my kick had sent Turtle soaring through the air, I found to my surprise, Turtle had turned into a cute cuddly baby raccoon. I walked across the room and scooped up the adorable baby raccoon. A raccoon named turtle was just too absurd so I decided to give the furry ball of warmth a new and more appropriate name. I stared into his cute raccoon eyes and declared aloud, “I shall call you Dorito!” I rocked Dorito calmly back and forth in my arms until he was fast asleep. A thought then entered my head, how funny would it be to put Dorito into a chip bag? I chuckled aloud and then decided my mind was set. I pulled a chip bag out of my backpack and carefully pulled the bag open and realized I’d been scammed! Inside the bag was a single Dorito chip. I then ate my Doritos.

"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

matt is fat

I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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