Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Q:what is the most annoying word that means nothing? A:every word has a meaning your question is invalid. ~Phish <3

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

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A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

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Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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