What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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do you have snow in your vagina? because i am going to plow you

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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An anti-joke

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Your mother just died.

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WILLY

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What did the carrot say to the apple? Sandals

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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