What do you call a man who kills others for his own amusement? A psychologist

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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25

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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Yo mamma is so ugly, but your father was willing to look past that. They fell in love and you were born about a year after they got married.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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