What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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how do you scare a deaf person? you yawn

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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Why did the black man cry and scream? It's anybody's guess. He was having a rough day.

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how much will u suck my dick for? $100, $50, $25, o u said none so u give freebees!!!!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Please ignore this statement.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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How is a woman like a condom? They are not. A woman is a human being and a condom is a man-made rubber object used as contraception in sexual intercourse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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