Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

I am quite mature.

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a trash can? -Finding a dead baby in 5 trash cans

What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

What did Helen Keller say when she was hit by a bus? . : ; : . : . :

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only anal because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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