Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school? Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Join the bro army! BROFIST! http://www.youtube.com/user/PewDiePie :D

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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