How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

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Feminism.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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What's worse that tripping over on your way home from work? Finding your entire family murdered

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How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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