Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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What did the homeless man do with his trolley of aluminium cans He took them to the scrapyard and sold them back for money as this is his only source of income right now

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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american idol

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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