How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house Purple because ice cream dosnt have bones

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What is faster? A mustang or a corvette? A fighter jet you stupid idiotic piece of crap!

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Josh brown, Cant have sex, you want to know why...... Because he has a smelly vagina

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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The Minnesota Vikings won a game.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Dave." "Dave who?" Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother's Alzheimer's is getting worse.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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