Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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"Jim would you like to share what you've written?" says rehab counselor "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Heroin is bad, I see sound."

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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What's the difference between a statue and a real human? The statue can't run if the birds shit on it.

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Hi.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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why was the cat black it was a black cat

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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woman's lacrosse

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Roses are red. Violates' are blue. Hitler is my homy.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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