What's the worst joke ever? Justin Bieber.

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Why don't you hit a black guy riding a bike? Because that is dangerous and he could get hurt.

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A Blonde, a brunette, and a redhead where hiding from the police They were all shot and all died because they were playing Grand Theft Auto 5

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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