( . Y . )

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What do you call somebody who can't walk? Handicapped

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie roll pop? It would have to take a reasonable amount of licks for enough enzymes in the saliva to breakdown the hard candy part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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