Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Why was the black man happy? He got a raise.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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Do you want to hear a joke about dogs? A joke about dogs.

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Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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why did the man walk into the metal pole? because hes blind and suffers from cancer.

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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Women's rights.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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A: Knock Knock B: I'm sleeping!

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one at the bottom.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Knock Knock, Come in.

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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