how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Laura Pratz..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

The Bible

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Women's Rights...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a man walked into a bar and said ow

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops