So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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Why was the clown murdered? Because it laughed at my cousin so he ran right into the icicle 10 times to the heart

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf man? Neither did he.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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what have big boobs, and fat ass ? fat man

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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what is sam ross' favorite word to use in conversation? awesam

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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