Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from prison? A: His or her name.

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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Women's rights.

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knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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AND

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Like my status for a tbh?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her.

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So, a black guy walked into a bar. "Ouch," he said.

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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George W. Bush

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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What do you tell a woman with no black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice but you're not an abusive partner.

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My life

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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