A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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What do you do when you fall asleep? You sleep.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

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What didn't last long? You in the bed

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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BIG PENIS

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a porch? Bob

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A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

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whats the difference between a mexican and a black person? They have different skin colors.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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