Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why didnt the guy eat cereal? Cause he didnt have any

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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A man crashed his boat and is lost in the ocean. He comes across a cruise ship, and they ask if he wants help. The man says, "No. God will save me, but thanks anyway." Later on that night, he is eaten by a shark.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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why is my phone broken i dropped it

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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