Why did the chicken cross the road? Due to a lack of awareness of its surrounding, it died attempting to cross the road.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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what is 3+3= 8

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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"I just don't understand the difference between yours and mines." "Well, you see, yours belong to you, whereas mines explode when you step on them."

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops