Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

You tell me. I have amnesia.

Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

Rebecca Black

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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