Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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c======3

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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