What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he needed to go to work to help pay for his dying daughter's cancer treatment

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

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Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

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Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops