Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Indians

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What do you call an Arab guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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