What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

How many spots does a giraffe have? Depends on the giraffe.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

a black guy walks into a black bar

So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

A white man, a black man, and a woman are drinking in the local pub. The black man and the woman are hanged. Medieval European pubs did not permit either.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

What do you call a man with leaves on his head? Steve, he's on camouflage training in the Army.

Help me I need to know how to cook a human fetus by tomorrow does anyone know any good recipes?

Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock? Who's there? Not Suzie.

I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

roses are red and violets are blue so is your mums fanny

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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