Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

Why was the black guy sad? Because he has a knife through his throat

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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